The sharing of household duties and responsibilities is an age-old source of conflict in any living situation. But, it takes a different form when the only adults in the home are you and your spouse, and the happiness and stability of your relationship becomes largely dependent on how honest and self-aware you are about your contribution to the home. Still, studies have shown that all of us tend to overestimate our own contributions to the household while underestimating those of others. This, of course, includes caring for any children you might have together.
Sure, when you’re marrying into a family with two children, you should probably expect there to be some child-care involved, but that doesn’t seem to be the sole cause for concern here. It would be one thing if he were simply working late every night, but when he’s leaving the care of his own children up to her while he goes and enjoys leisure activities, it seems he’s passing off his own responsibility onto his spouse and using her as a convenient way to find care for his own children. The poster/stepmother mentions that her husband “wasn’t allowed to pursue his hobbies” in his first marriage, and you can’t help but think that, given this situation, his ex-wife was just trying to get him to own some responsibility. Reading this account of events really starts to make you wonder why his first marriage ended in the first place…
